Reaching Out
by mardel
Summary: A story about Fin with some Munch thrown in too.
1. Default Chapter

Reaching Out  
  
PG-R  
  
By mardel  
  
I just borrowed them for the story, they are owned by others.  
  
A story about Fin with some Munch thrown in.   
  
"When was the last time you touched anyone other than to cuff them?" Munch  
  
asked his partner.   
  
"None of your business." Tutuola answered. His back turned towards him.   
  
"Look as many ex-wives as I have, I'm not the best one to give advice. But   
  
you need someone in your life man. If you won't talk to me, then you need  
  
to talk to someone." Munch warned him.   
  
"I'm fine, I can handle it." Fin stated.  
  
"I'm telling you the truth you can't keep isolating yourself from human contact  
  
like this. You need to deal with the past, so you can live again." Munch continued.  
  
"I'm living."   
  
"No, what you are doing in working all the time. I know you don't think anyone   
  
notices because you leave every night and then come back. You have to  
  
find a balance between work and personal life."   
  
Fin frowned, he knew John was just telling him this for his own good. He'd thought  
  
he could just keep hanging on like he'd been doing.   
  
" I lost everyone I ever cared anything about, I don't want to hurt like that again."  
  
" I'm sorry to hear that. But you're going to crack up soon if you don't find some  
  
thing to take your mind off work. This job is hard enough to leave behind, let   
  
alone live twenty-four, seven."   
  
"I'll talk to the company shrink or something." He promised.   
  
"I'll see you tomorrow." John nodded and pulled on his coat.   
  
Fin sighed and reached for his own coat. He should at least go home. He hadn't been  
  
in his apartment long enough to do more than change and shower in weeks. He didn't  
  
sleep much, and when he did he often just sacked out in the spare bunks up stairs at  
  
the station.   
  
He walked the twelve blocks to his apartment and was climbing the second flight of  
  
stairs when he heard a woman scream. He ran the last flight at full speed turning  
  
the corner to find a woman standing at the far end of the hall, her hand to her  
  
mouth as she stared down at a man laying on the hallway floor.   
  
"What's going on here?" He holstered his sidearm, and flashed his badge.   
  
"I just came out to put the trash in the chute. I found him like this." The woman  
  
gestured towards the unconscious man.   
  
Fin checked for a pulse, then pulled out his cell phone and put in a call for an   
  
ambulance. It looked like the man had passed out, but his pulse was there, fast but  
  
steady. It could be an OD or just about anything.  
  
"Do you know his name?"   
  
"No, he doesn't live here." She looked at Fin for the first time. Blinked and then  
  
studied him, like she wanted to remember him.   
  
He knew what she saw, even twelve years on the force, he still looked like a man you'd  
  
cross the street to keep out of his way. His neat clubbed back pony tail, close   
  
clipped beard and conservative dress not withstanding.   
  
"Are you okay, want me to see you to your apartment?" He offered.   
  
"I know you don't I?" She asked, her arms locked protectively around her  
  
torso. Her eyes still locked on his face.   
  
"I live in the building, fourth floor. back corner." He nodded.   
  
"Oh, yes you aren't around very often. You helped me carry up a few things  
  
last year when I moved in." She nodded.   
  
He nodded, he remembered. It had been a hot July day, she was bringing things  
  
up from a borrowed truck. The kids she'd paid to help her had run off after only  
  
two trips to her place. Satisfied with only the five dollars she'd given them at  
  
the beginning. The promise of five more forgotten in the heat. T had carried up  
  
a large box full of kitchen items for her. He recalled admiring her shape on the  
  
climb to her apartment. For a white lady she had a nice round ass. Her long  
  
dark hair in one long braid down her back.   
  
"Helena Populous wasn't it?" He asked, not sure of her last name.   
  
"Yes, you have a good memory. You're Detective Tutuola I think, it's been a long  
  
time since I've seen you." She smiled at him.   
  
"Tutuola, but you were real close. Can I walk you back to your apartment?" He  
  
motioned for her to lead the way. He heard the ambulance arriving.   
  
"Can I offer you a cup of coffee... your day is over maybe a glass of wine?"   
  
She offered as she opened the door to her apartment.   
  
"Thank you." He was about to decline her kind offer. "I'd like that, coffee is fine if  
  
you have some made. I'll just show the ambulance guys where the patient is. I'll  
  
be back in a minute." He surprised himself by saying yes.   
  
Helena, rushed to put a fresh pot of coffee on while he was gone. She tidied up her  
  
already neat front room and tossed her cat off the extra chair by the window.   
  
He knocked then opened her door slowly, so as not to catch her off guard.   
  
"Ms. Populous?"   
  
"Yes, please come in. Make yourself at home." She called from the kitchen, she  
  
was putting a selection of small cakes on a plate. She baked for several restaurants  
  
in the neighborhood as well and working at the Macy's up town.   
  
"You have a nice place here." Fin removed his long overcoat and hung it on the hall  
  
tree near the front door. He smoothed his jacket un-buttoning it .   
  
Helena entered the room carrying a tray with coffee mugs, cream, sugar and   
  
cakes. He was surprised by the amount of food she was bringing.   
  
"This looks wonderful. Do I look like I need fatting up?" He asked attempting a  
  
small joke.   
  
"No, you look very fit... strong, I mean I just thought you probably hadn't eaten  
  
your dinner yet." She blushed and set the tray down on the small table by the  
  
window.   
  
Damn, he hadn't heard praise like that from a lady in ages. He hadn't mean to  
  
fluster her like that. He never would have thought she was the type to be hiding  
  
a attraction to a man like him.   
  
"Black is fine. Thanks." He accepted the mug of coffee took a careful  
  
sip as is felt very hot. It was great coffee, worthy of those steep prices you had  
  
to pay at the fancy place up the block.   
  
"Please help yourself to some of the cakes." She was still blushing, but she  
  
tried to meet his eyes for a second as she handed him the coffee.   
  
He didn't usually eat sweets much, but he took three of the small cakes onto  
  
the plate she provided. Then tasted one, it was melt in your mouth fantastic.   
  
"These are great. You should bake professionally." He praised her.   
  
"I do, at least some of the time." She smiled, and sipped her own mug of coffee.  
  
He liked him there was something about his eyes and his voice. It had been so  
  
long since she'd been attracted to a man. She just wanted to sit with him for a  
  
minute and enjoy the feeling. She was sure a man like him must be taken.   
  
Fin wasn't looking for a lady in his life. Helena was very nice, from what he'd  
  
seen so far. Probably to sweet for a thug like him. Defiantly not the type for  
  
a booty call. But she was on the voluptuous side, he liked his ladies shapely.  
  
"Have you been in New York long?" He asked having noticed her slight accent.  
  
"Yes, we moved here when I was twelve. I am a citizen now." She said with pride.  
  
"That's good." He'd never been good with small talk, he could get information  
  
out of a perp, no problem, but this was awkward. Especially since he wasn't  
  
going to be laying a line down on her. He struggled for a topic of conversation.  
  
"Have you been a policemen a long time?" Helena asked, wanting to get him  
  
talking about himself, so that he'd stay.   
  
"It's been a few years, I just switched over to my current unit a year ago.   
  
I was in Drug Enforcement for six years." He said sipping his coffee.  
  
"That is dangerous work, your family must worry about you." She looked  
  
concerned herself.   
  
"No. There's no one left to worry about me." He met her eyes for a second then  
  
shifted his gaze out the window. Why was saying it making him feel so alone.  
  
He'd been alone for years and years.   
  
"Would you like to stay for dinner? I was just about to finish making the potatoes  
  
before.... when...." She asked.   
  
"No, I don't want to intrude on your meal." Fin stood, " I should be going."  
  
He motioned towards the door.   
  
"Please, there is plenty of food." She sounded genuine, like she really would  
  
like for him to stay.   
  
He hesitated, then what John had said to him just that afternoon replayed in his  
  
head. ' you can't keep isolating yourself from human contact like this,'   
  
"Thank you, I'd like to stay." He almost smiled, his face relaxed a little from his  
  
usual stern expression.   
  
"Good, the bathroom it that way if you'd like to wash up." She smiled and stood  
  
up walking to the small kitchen to finish the food.   
  
Fin nodded, and did as she suggested. Washing his hands and checking his  
  
reflection in the mirror. He looked tired, the rush of adrenaline wearing off from  
  
his response to her scream in the hall. What was he thinking staying for a meal.  
  
Helena was nothing like the kind of lady he usually felt an attraction. Not that he  
  
was feeling an attraction, she was a warm, caring lady. He responded   
  
to most women with respect, until they did or said something that changed his  
  
opinion of them. This was nuts, he should make an excuse and leave.   
  
"Damn it, Fin be a man and share a meal with the nice lady." He scolded himself.   
  
Helena was placing plates and utensils on the table when he entered the room.   
  
She was wearing an apron, and she looked flushed from the heat of the oven.   
  
He couldn't remember the last time anyone had cooked for him. His chest felt  
  
tight, at the sight of her preparing the table for a meal.   
  
"I hope you like meat loaf and vegetables." She placed the last fork on the table  
  
and turned back towards the kitchen. "Please sit down."   
  
I love meat loaf, at least the kind granny use to make. With gravy and mashed  
  
potatoes. Green beans and carrots he though. He shrugged out of his suit jacket  
  
and hung it on the back of his chair. "Can I help?" He offered before taking his  
  
seat.   
  
"No, thank you. It will just be a minute." She carried in a plate of fresh bread,  
  
that smelled to good to eat and the meat loaf on it's platter. Then returned with  
  
the vegetables and gravy. She took her seat. Fin couldn't believe the amount  
  
of food on the table for just the two of them. She must usually have leftovers  
  
for the whole week.   
  
"I usually say grace, before a meal." She inclined her head and repeated a   
  
prayer he'd learned as a child, but hadn't practiced in much to long.   
  
"Amen." Helena said, and looked up, then passed him the platter of meat.  
  
"Amen." Fin said in unison with her. He took the platter and served himself.   
  
The food was so good he was sure he was dreaming it all. No one cooked  
  
like this anymore. Especially in a city were everyone ate out or ordered in.   
  
"This is great." He said between bites.   
  
"I'm glad you like it, I miss having people to feed." She nodded at his praise.   
  
"You said before that you came here with family?" He asked towards the end  
  
of the meal.   
  
"My parents, I was born late in their lives. I am an only child." She explained.   
  
"They have been gone for sometime."   
  
"I'm sorry. You said you baked for restaurants in the area, what else do you  
  
do?" He sounded like he was pumping her for information.   
  
"I sell at Macy's in midtown." She finished her last bite and set her fork down.   
  
"I like to read, I usually stop at the library every week for a new book."   
  
"Yeah, I learned a lot from books. But there is no substitute for the stuff you  
  
learn on the street." He sighed after all that good food, he was ready for a nap.   
  
"There is cake if you would like." She offered.   
  
"No, thank you. That was a wonderful meal. Let me help you clean up." He unbuttoned  
  
his left cuff and rolled his shirt sleeve back.   
  
"No, you don't have to help." She stood up lifting her plate from the table.   
  
"I insist, my granny would tan my hide if I didn't help you with the dishes."   
  
He rolled the second sleeve up and took the platter and his plate to the kitchen.  
  
Helena washed, Fin dried they talked about recent movies they had seen.   
  
She noticed he was more relaxed, he seemed to be enjoying the evening.   
  
.......  
  
Fin woke up in his apartment he next morning early, he felt good. He thought  
  
about the night before at Helena's. He was out of practice but he thought he   
  
was going to have to take John's advice and seek out some female company.   
  
A week went by he was working on a tough case and hardly went home for  
  
more than a change of clothes. He was just leaving one morning jogging down  
  
the stairs when he noticed Helena ahead of him on the landing.   
  
"Good morning." He paused in his rush back to the station.   
  
"Hello." Helena looked up to see Fin walking down the stairs towards her.   
  
She smiled at the sight of him, he made her think of a knight the way he moved  
  
tall, straight his coat billowing out almost like a cape behind him.   
  
Fin saw her bright smile, it puzzled him. The things he thought he knew about  
  
her, she was probably that happy to see anyone she knew.   
  
" It's cold out there this morning." He noticed her in her winter coat.   
  
She was wearing one of those hats that mashed your hair flat, and a big scarf.   
  
She looked happy to be out so early on a Monday.   
  
"Yes, I'm wearing my boots." She continued to smile at him.   
  
Fin had the impulse to touch her, something he never felt. He pushed the idea  
  
out of his mind. " Which way are you headed?"   
  
"Down towards 12th street. I'm delivering baked goods on the way to work." She  
  
nodded towards the carry bag.   
  
"I'll walk you to the subway." He motioned for her to take the stairs ahead of him.  
  
"I was hoping to see you again. The next time you're home in time for dinner  
  
stop and eat with me. I enjoyed your company." She told him as they walked.   
  
"I'd like that, but my schedule is crazy. I don't want to just show up." He hedged.   
  
"I don't mind. I usually eat about seven, please feel welcome anytime." She  
  
touched his arm as he stopped at the subway entrance. His eyes flew to her  
  
hand on his arm. She could feel his muscles tense under her hand, combined  
  
with the look in his eyes. She lifted her hand.   
  
Fin didn't like to be touched. It was a thing he had from long ago. But he didn't  
  
shrug her off, like he usually would. His reaction was stiff disapproval.   
  
"Be safe." She said and ducked down the stairs to the subway.   
  
He felt empty when she took her hand away. His reaction had caused her to  
  
react that way. He should go after her, not leave things so strained between  
  
them. He didn't want her to be afraid of him.   
  
"Helena, wait." He ran after her. Catching her as she fumbled for her pass card.  
  
"I'm sorry. People don't usually touch me." He didn't know what he was trying  
  
to explain. He just didn't want her to be afraid of him. It was suddenly very   
  
important that she not fear him.   
  
She looked up startled for a second. "I didn't mean to be familiar. I'm sorry."  
  
She pulled her fare card out of her bag. Looked up at him, saw his concern  
  
for her. She almost reached out to touch him again, repeating her mistake.   
  
"Don't fear me. I'm not like that." He stated. He felt the impulse to touch her  
  
again and at the same time a tight knot formed in is stomach.   
  
"I know you're not. Come for dinner when you can." She told him and turned  
  
towards the turnstiles.   
  
Fin watched her go, feelings he'd buried churning inside him. He was going to  
  
have to talk with Wong about this. If he wanted to be human again.   
  
.......  
  
He did talk with the doctor, a couple of times. The doc suggested he take things slow  
  
ease back into a simple friendship with her and then see were things went.   
  
.............  
  
Fin put off going by Helena's place for nearly a week. But by the end of one  
  
exhausting day he decided it was time to see her again.   
  
He knocked on her door after going to his place and cleaning up.   
  
"Hello, it's nice to see you." Helena opened the door with a big smile on her face.  
  
She'd worried about him ever since the last time they had talked. She thought  
  
she might have given him the wrong idea. She was very happy he was back.   
  
"I hope I'm not to late." He didn't want to come to her place empty handed  
  
but she didn't seem to drink much wine and flowers weren't his style.   
  
He settled on a classical music CD. Some how he associated her with  
  
European music.   
  
"You didn't have to bring me anything. Thank you. I just sat down, let me  
  
fix a plate for you." She took the small package from him and moved towards  
  
the kitchen.   
  
"I can't keep eating your food like this if you don't tell me how to return the favor."  
  
Fin told her halfway through the meal. It was the second best plate of ravioli he'd  
  
ever eaten. Only because it was he second plate of food.   
  
Helena smiled at his question. He'd never expect to hear her true answer.   
  
It was much to forward of a request. She knew he didn't want that kind of a  
  
relationship with her. She'd have to tell him something.   
  
"I'm pretty good at fixing things." He offered.   
  
"You don't have to return the favor. I cook all the time, I like seeing you enjoy  
  
the meal." She told him.   
  
"I"ll just have to think of something. I'll wash you dry." He stood up and began  
  
to roll his sleeves back.   
  
Helena, watched her eyes lowered so he wouldn't notice she was staring.   
  
His forearms were corded with muscle, his hands broad and strong looking.   
  
She liked watching him.   
  
Fin sighed picked up his plate and the salad bowl and walked to the kitchen.  
  
Munch would love to see him washing dishes, he'd never hear the end of  
  
the snide remarks about his being so domestic.   
  
........................  
  
Weeks past Fin saw her at least once a week. He even tried to take her out  
  
for a meal one time but she wouldn't agree. He asked her what kind of a show  
  
she'd like to see, but she wouldn't give him any idea. He wanted to do something  
  
for her.   
  
"We are friends, you aren't courting me. I don't need anything." She told him.   
  
That hurt, he wasn't courting her. But it still hurt to hear that she didn't expect  
  
him to treat her special. He'd had female friends before, why did he feel the  
  
need to give Helena something or do something for her? He felt good when he  
  
was with her. It wasn't about a booty call. She clearly wasn't looking for that  
  
or if she was, not from him.   
  
He tried to stay away for awhile but after two weeks he found that he missed  
  
talking with her. Missed seeing her smile. To be truthful he missed her great  
  
cooking too. He decided he was going to have to find something to do for her  
  
in return for all the fine meals. He started by learning her schedule, she worked  
  
at the store Tuesday thru Saturday. She worked day shift she almost never  
  
was out on the street at night. She was about as safe as a female could be with  
  
out a personal body guard. She walked to the subway with two other ladies when  
  
their shift ended. She had three locks that she used regularly on her doors.   
  
She'd lived in the city long enough to know most things about safety.   
  
He came home very late one night to find a message from Helena on his machine.  
  
He usually only got calls from the station on the machine.   
  
" Hello, Fin it's Helena. I wanted to talk to you, if you could call me back I'd   
  
appreciate it." She sounded out of breath, like she was scared.   
  
He went down to her door and looked things over. There didn't seem to be anything  
  
out of place. No marks on the door like it had been jimmied. It was very late,  
  
past midnight so he didn't knock. He went back to his apartment and listened to the  
  
message a second time. She did sound stressed. But she hadn't said it was urgent  
  
to call him as soon as he could. He decided to get a few hours sleep and catch her  
  
in the morning.   
  
Helena, looked out her door the next morning, checking for any sign of the man  
  
that she thought had followed her home. She didn't know if she was imagining  
  
things, but she had seen him before. She walked out side and headed for the   
  
subway up the street it was farther but she wanted to change her pattern.   
  
Fin woke up late, rushed to dress and was about to knock on Helena's door when  
  
the super waved to him.   
  
"She just left I saw her walking uptown." He informed the cop.   
  
"Thanks, man." Fin hurried down the stairs and out the door. He didn't see  
  
any sign of Helena, but the sidewalk was already crowded with people.   
  
He jogged up the street to the subway. She could be making a delivery some  
  
where, he'd have to catch up with her at the store. He called Munch.  
  
"Yeah, I'll be a little late. Cover for me."   
  
"No problem seeing as it's the first time since I've know you that you weren't  
  
at work before me." John grinned hoping this meant his partner was keeping  
  
company with a lady this morning.   
  
Fin took the subway up town, he was only five minutes behind her. But he   
  
managed to catch up with her one the sidewalk a block from Macy's.  
  
"Helena, hang on a second." He touched her shoulder to get her attention and  
  
she jumped like he'd hit her. "Easy, easy it's me Fin." He held up booth hands  
  
and backed up a step so he wasn't crowding her.   
  
"I'm sorry, you startled me." She was breathing fast, she was scared.   
  
"Here sit down for a minute." He guided her to a bench near the curb.   
  
"Talk to me." He positioned himself between her and the people walking past.   
  
"Why did you call?"   
  
"I needed someone to talk to." She evaded his question.   
  
He knew a half truth when he heard it. "Come on Helena, it's Fin. What's wrong?"   
  
He inclined his head towards her a little so he could see her better.   
  
"I think a man followed me home last night." She told him.   
  
"What did he look like?" Fin was instantly in cop mode.   
  
"Not real tall, with a dark hat, he needed a shave. He followed me from the subway  
  
to the corner store and then up the street to the apartment." She explained.   
  
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" He asked.   
  
"I think so, I was so scared." She started to reach for his hand then stopped  
  
herself.   
  
Fin noticed her pull back from reaching for him. He'd caused that himself, telling  
  
her that people didn't touch him. Reacting so badly the other time.   
  
"You should come down to the station and look at the mug books."   
  
"I have to work, we are getting ready for the holiday rush." She told him.  
  
"Could you leave a little early tonight and come to the station?"   
  
"I'll try." She nodded.   
  
"Ask the desk Sargent to call me when you get there." He offered his gloved  
  
hand, she took it. He escorted her to the employee entrance. " Promise you'll  
  
come to the station."   
  
"I'll be there." She nodded.  
  
.............  
  
"What's got you on edge?" Munch asked that afternoon. They had cleared a  
  
case and they were each typing up the report for the file.   
  
" A friend of mine had some trouble yesterday. I was expecting for her to stop  
  
and look at the mug books." Fin admitted.   
  
"Oh, is that why you were late this morning?" John asked.   
  
"Yeah." Fin paced over to the window and tried to see the sidewalk.   
  
"I was hoping it was something better than that detaining you."   
  
"Yeah, it wasn't anything like that." Fin frowned at his partner.   
  
"Sorry, can I help?" John didn't often offer to do extra work. He'd put in twenty years  
  
in Baltimore before joining the NYPD.   
  
"If she spots the scumbag in the books, I'll be sure to give him a lesson in  
  
manners." Fin warned John.   
  
"I can hold your coat." John smiled.   
  
His phone rang, "She's down stairs, did you weed out the books you need yet?"  
  
"Yeah, except for the stalker types I was hoping we wouldn't need that one."   
  
Fin nodded towards the interview room.   
  
Helena, looked almost as scared now as she had that morning. She was   
  
holding her bag so tight her knuckles were white.   
  
"Ms. Populous, I'm Det. Tutuola please come with me." He acted like he'd left  
  
a message for her. People were always coming in asking for the Detectives.   
  
He touched her shoulder, guiding her to the stairway to the second floor.   
  
Helena felt more at ease as soon as she saw him.   
  
"Right this way," He showed her to the interview room, where John was waiting  
  
with the mug books. "This is my partner John Munch."   
  
"Hello," She tried to smile but she was to nervous.   
  
"Can I get you something to drink, we have coffee, tea and soda." John offered.  
  
"No thank you." Helena shook her head, she was to upset to think.   
  
Fin's partner was tall, with dark hair. He looked like he'd be a good partner.   
  
"We'd like for you to look through the mug books here. Take your time,   
  
there are a lot of pictures here. I tried to pull the books with the most likely  
  
matches." He explained.   
  
Helena, nodded. Munch left the room. He though he'd get her a cold drink just  
  
in case. Fin stayed standing to the left of her chair watching as she flipped through  
  
the books. She still seemed very nervous. He wished there was something he could  
  
do to put her more at ease. But short of embracing her, he couldn't think of anything.   
  
John motioned to him from the doorway.   
  
"Yeah?" Fin whispered.   
  
"She's scared to death, what happened?" John asked.   
  
"She thinks a man followed her home last night. She saw him at the subway stop  
  
and the market then again at her apartment building." Fin filled him in.   
  
"Does she have a history of being attacked? She seems very nervous.   
  
Like victims do after an attack." John reminded his partner.   
  
"I didn't ask." Fin should have asked, if she'd ever been followed before, or any  
  
thing like that." He felt stupid.   
  
"I'll talk to her." John set the soda down above the book so she could reach it.   
  
"Ms. Populous can I ask you a few questions?" John interviewed her like he   
  
would any other female victim. Slow, gentle prodding for information with out  
  
up setting her any more than he needed to.   
  
She answered him looking over towards Fin several times. Like she was  
  
wondering why he wasn't asking these questions.   
  
John took some notes, and stayed with her while she continued to look through  
  
the books.   
  
"I think this is him." She pointed, the man was a guy they had picked up for  
  
questioning before.   
  
"Good we'll have a talk with him. I don't think you'll have to worry about him  
  
bothering you again." John gave her his smirk-grin with a nod of his head.   
  
"Is that all?"   
  
"Yes, I'll get a....." John started to say they would have a radio car take her   
  
home, then noticed Fin shaking his head.   
  
"Det. Tutuola wants to speak to you for a minute." John stood and carried   
  
the mug book out with him.   
  
"Thank you." Helena nodded to him.  
  
Fin exhaled, then walked over to the table and sat across from Helena.   
  
"Has something like this happened to you before?"   
  
"No." She answered.  
  
"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's happened." He asked again.   
  
Helena didn't want him to know about her past. She'd lost other friends   
  
over what had happened and she wouldn't risk losing Fin. She couldn't  
  
tell him.   
  
She shook her head.   
  
"I'll walk you home." He wanted to pound his fist into something he was so  
  
angry that he now had the chance to help her and she wouldn't let him.   
  
Helena noticed Munch standing talking to a woman on there way out.   
  
He nodded to her as they walked past.   
  
"You're partner is very nice." Helena told Fin once they reached the street.   
  
"Yeah, he's a real prince." Fin growled.   
  
"You're angry."   
  
"Damn straight, I'm angry I'm trying to help you, but if you don't talk to me,  
  
tell me what happened, there isn't much I do." He told her as they began  
  
to walk up the street.   
  
She considered his point, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him about her past.  
  
She stopped walking. Fin noticed her halt, he turned to face her.   
  
"Be angry at the man that caused this. Don't be angry at me." She warned him.  
  
"You're right, I'm sorry. Let's just take a cab home. It's to cold to walk."   
  
He lifted his arm and stepped closer to the curb, badge in hand.   
  
They rode back to the apartment building in silence. Fin was thinking, trying to  
  
remember if Helena had ever mentioned anything about her past that would  
  
give him clues.   
  
.....................  
  
Munch and Fin located the man she'd pointed out in the book. He was   
  
known to follow women. He hadn't crossed the line and started attacking  
  
them yet, but they warned him off doing his thing in their part of town.   
  
Fin let him know he might just wake up dead if he continued working anywhere  
  
that he would be the one who caught the case.   
  
..................  
  
His relationship with Helena was strained now. He still stopped by and saw   
  
her once or twice a week. He'd learned that he could care for someone again  
  
but it had really bothered him when she was so upset. That was his reason for  
  
not wanting to get close to anyone ever again.   
  
.................  
  
Helena stood transfixed staring at the images on the television. It was nearly  
  
as bad as the towers falling. Police and Firefighters were rushing to save people  
  
from the explosion. Then she realized Fin could be in that part of town. It was  
  
only a few blocks from his station.   
  
"Please dear God protect him." She prayed over and over.   
  
She waited up for him to come home. Knowing that he might work straight  
  
thru for two or even three shifts. She paced and prayed and waited.   
  
He she saw him walking slowly up the street from her window she rushed  
  
out to the stairs and ran to the front door. She met him on the front stoop.  
  
"You're safe, I was so worried." She threw her arms around him she was so  
  
thrilled he was alive and safe.   
  
Fin pushed her off, in reaction to way to much emotion over the past two days.   
  
He was exhausted. He needed to sleep for about ten hours. The moment after  
  
he pushed her away he realized what he'd done.   
  
He'd been fighting his feelings towards Helena for months. But the look in her eyes  
  
was making him crazy. She'd been scared to death for him, she'd only wanted to  
  
welcome him home safe and sound. He shouldn't have pushed her away.   
  
"I'm sorry, can we go inside?" He indicated the stairs. She followed him up  
  
the three flights of stairs to her apartment. She knew he was hesitant about being  
  
touched she knew better than to attempt to hug him. She shouldn't be so hurt  
  
by his reaction.   
  
"Helena, I want to explain." He started off, pacing towards her kitchen then back  
  
to the sofa where she was sitting, watching him.   
  
"You don't owe me an explanation. I shouldn't have grabbed you that way."   
  
She tried to take the blame on her self.  
  
"No, I want to. You see when I was a kid I used to get knocked around a lot  
  
by my old man. In fact the only person that ever touched me in a nice way was  
  
my grandmother. She'd hug me and rock me when I was little, and she'd still  
  
hug me and kiss me even after I was nearly a man. Then she died. The bigger  
  
I got the more the old man beat on me. I began to associated another  
  
person's touch with pain. It's my problem, I didn't mean to push you like that.   
  
I know that you would never hurt me. I saw you...." He stopped unsure what  
  
else to say.   
  
"I'm sorry, I was so relieved you were safe." She was bitting her lip to try and  
  
keep from crying.   
  
"I know that, I know. You shouldn't worry about me. I've been doing this for  
  
a long time. I know how to keep my head down."   
  
" I have to worry about you, the people who love you pray for you at times like  
  
that, so that if the worse happens God will protect you." She whispered.   
  
His heart clenched in his chest, she couldn't mean that. Not the way it sounded.  
  
'people who love you,' she couldn't love him. He didn't deserve her love.   
  
She was to kind and good. He was hard and cold. He didn't need her to cry for  
  
him, to pray for him.   
  
"I won't touch you again. I promise. Seeing you safe is enough." She struggled   
  
not to cry in front of him.   
  
Fin took several deep breaths, in an effort to steady the trembling in his hands. This  
  
was why he hid from people. Emotion made him lose control.   
  
"It's not your fault, it's me....it's me." He chocked out. His eyes locked with hers   
  
full of pain. He framed her face with both hands, reading all the emotions she was  
  
feeling, sorrow, fear, pain and love. He kissed her gently, surprising her so much  
  
that she barely responded. Their lips parted and he braced for her reaction.   
  
She stared at him, shocked. "You kissed me."   
  
"I thought you wanted me to...." He was confused now.   
  
"I"ve always wanted you to, from the first time I ever met you. This man I thought  
  
he would be good to kiss. He would be gentle, but strong."  
  
"Why did you think that?"   
  
"Your eyes were so expressive, deep brown, sad and hurt." She explained.   
  
"That made you want to kiss me?"   
  
"And your voice, too. You spoke so quite, your voice deep and soft."   
  
He laughed, he talked that way because it made people pay attention. Only one other  
  
person had ever told him it was attractive.   
  
"May I touch you?" She asked.   
  
"Baby, I was hoping we could do more than that." Fin opened his arms to her.   
  
He kissed her again, wrapping both arms around her body, pulling her in close.  
  
Helena, responded to his kisses with passion he hadn't expected.  
  
He was thrilled by her responsiveness, the idea of taking things slowly crushed.  
  
"Baby are you sure this is what you want?" He asked between kisses.   
  
Her hands were attempting to unbutton his shirt, but they were shaking.  
  
"Yes, I need you so much."   
  
"If you're sure, we should... " He nodded his head towards the bedroom.   
  
Helena, smiled and nodded.   
  
Once they were in her bedroom with just the light on the dresser to set the  
  
mood, Fin shrugged out of his jacket. He felt good, but a little nervous.   
  
It had been awhile since he had to consider his partner's feelings. He'd been  
  
making due with one nighters and pros.   
  
Helena watched him wishing they could just fall onto the bed and make love.  
  
Fin came back to stand in front of her, his eyes so dark she couldn't read them.  
  
Was he feeling the same emotions she was? Or was it just need?   
  
Fin lifted his hand to cradle her head, kissing her deeply. Helena wrapped  
  
her arms around his chest and back holding on to him. She responded to  
  
his kisses just as before, eager for him. Fin stroked his hand down her back  
  
and cupped her round ass, as their kissing continued. She moaned and  
  
moved her groin against him. Her hands spreading wide across his back  
  
as she moved against his growing arousal.   
  
"You feel so good in my arms Baby." He whispered lifting his mouth from hers  
  
for a moment.   
  
"Please Cerro, I need you." She begged.   
  
Fin heard the urgency in her voice, he quickly removed his clothes down to  
  
his boxers. Helena slipped out of her own clothes just as quickly, laying on  
  
the bed. She was so eager to be with him.   
  
"I want to make this good for you Baby, but you keep telling me to hurry."  
  
He braced himself over her, she lifted her arms around his body.   
  
"You are so handsome." She praised.   
  
Fin lowered his mouth to her neck and kissed his way down to her breast.  
  
His arousal pressed tightly into her lower body. She was arching up to meet  
  
his slow thrusting. Helena moaned, and sighed at his attentions to her body.   
  
She was ready to accept him fully.   
  
Fin removed his boxers and quickly covered his throbbing shaft with protection  
  
then he was pushing inside her warmth. She was hot and tight. He groaned   
  
and eased back, then pushed slowly forward a second time.   
  
"Easy Baby, let me.... " He fought to keep control. He'd not expected this   
  
type of problem. He felt her pulsing around him, he waited for her to relax  
  
for him.  
  
"Helena look at me."   
  
She opened her eyes, looking up into his deep brown eyes that were burning  
  
with need. Once his eyes locked with hers, she relaxed enough for him to  
  
continued. It worried him that she seemed to want him so much, and then  
  
froze up when they were joined.   
  
"Talk to me Baby, let me hear that I'm pleasing you."   
  
"Cero, you feel so good." She moaned, her hands stroking his back again.   
  
Fin gave her long slow thrusts at first, but it didn't take long for him to   
  
become lost in his own feelings and needs. Her moans encouraging him into   
  
a quicker pace. She cried out her climax.   
  
"My god, oh, oh god."   
  
He followed her only a few strokes later, groaning when he reached his finish.   
  
He stayed balanced over her, her finger tips gripping his shoulders.   
  
"Perfect, you are magnificent." She told him in the throws of passion.   
  
His heart was pounding so hard he wasn't sure he heard her correctly.   
  
He took a minute to get his breathing under control, then lowered his mouth  
  
to hers, kissing her softly.   
  
"What was that you said before?" He asked lowering himself beside her  
  
on the bed.   
  
"You were magnificent." She turned towards him, stroking a hand   
  
over his shoulder and down his arm.   
  
He liked that she thought so, but that wasn't what he'd meant.   
  
"Thank you Baby, but I mean you called me Cerro or something?"   
  
"It means lover, what a man is called by his lady." She told him.   
  
"Oh, perhaps I shouldn't ...?" She stopped caressing him with her hand  
  
remembering his past statements to her about being touched.   
  
Fin caught her hand, brought it to his lips, kissed her finger tips.   
  
"I didn't mean it like that, I don't like people to touch me. But you're different  
  
I like when you touch me."   
  
"I see." She smiled, "You are so hard," She began to say.   
  
He wasn't sure again what she meant.   
  
"Your arms and chest." She slipped her hand from his and stroked it across  
  
his broad chest.   
  
Fin closed his eyes and soaked in the feeling. It had been so long.   
  
She stroked her hand over his body for several minutes he wasn't sure  
  
who enjoyed it more.   
  
"Fin is short for something isn't it?" She asked while stroking him.   
  
"Um, Odafin I was named for my grandfather." He answered her.   
  
"Odafin it's different I like it."   
  
"Umm," He responded still enjoying her caresses.   
  
"You're going to sleep." She said as his breathing slowed even more.  
  
"Feels good." Was the last thing he said before falling asleep. The combined  
  
effects of a triple shift added to his relaxed state won out over his desire to  
  
be with Helena after making love.   
  
Helena curled up beside him one hand resting on his chest and fell asleep  
  
also. She woke up the next morning feeling happy. Fin was still asleep, he'd  
  
hardly moved from the position he'd fallen asleep in. She pulled the cover  
  
up to keep him warm and began her usual morning routine.   
  
Fin was still asleep at seven-thirty. Helena hated to wake him but she didn't  
  
know if he had to be back at work at his usual time.   
  
"Fin wake up now." She sat on the bed behind his back, he'd rolled on to  
  
his side after she got up.   
  
"What time is it?" He asked, feeling very comfortable and hoping he didn't  
  
have to get up just yet. Helena was caressing his shoulder, he remembered  
  
making love, but nothing after that.   
  
"It' seven-thirty do you have to be at work today?" She asked hoping for his   
  
sake that he didn't, or at least not until later in the day.   
  
"Not until afternoon. Are you leaving?" He rolled onto his back so he could  
  
see her.   
  
" I have some things to deliver." She told him.   
  
He swallowed, seeing her in the morning light he wanted to make love to her  
  
again. He was absolutely infatuated with her.   
  
"Come here." He urged her to lean down over him so he could kiss her.  
  
Her hair fell forward surrounding them both as he kissed her good morning.   
  
She already tasted like coffee and sweet rolls.   
  
"Come back to bed with me." he asked.   
  
She hesitated, she really did need to deliver the baked goods. But he looked so  
  
inviting naked in her bed.   
  
Fin rolled her over pinning her to the bed. "You know you want to."   
  
"I do." She almost giggled. She could feel the hard arch of his arousal against  
  
her thigh. He was very ready to perform again.   
  
He moved against her, lowering his mouth to kiss her neck, laving his tongue  
  
into the hollow of her throat. Helena melted under his touch, moaning her  
  
acceptance of his actions. Fin pushed the sheet away and moved to cover  
  
her with his body. "Tell me what you want."  
  
"I want you." She breathed.  
  
"But how?" he continued to kiss and stroke her, he couldn't seem to get  
  
enough of the taste of her skin.   
  
She tossed her head back as he kissed her throat again.   
  
"What's your favorite position?" He asked wanting to do what she like best.   
  
"I don't know." She answered as he was removing her blouse.   
  
He filled his hand with one breast while tasting the other.   
  
"You like them all?" He guessed.   
  
"I've only tried the one way." She sighed as he shifted his attention to the other  
  
breast.   
  
That was when it hit him, the reason she had been so tight, so nervous........  
  
He'd been her first lover. Ever. Damn.   
  
"Baby why didn't you tell me?"   
  
"I didn't think you thought of me that way." She confessed.   
  
That was fair, that hadn't been how things were between them.   
  
He was braced over her, his erection still pressed tightly to her body.   
  
That explained her attention to his body last night. Not just petting but investigation.   
  
"You still get to choose, want to try a different way?" He kissed her mouth quickly.  
  
"What's your favorite?"   
  
"Na, you pick." He kissed her again.   
  
"Like they did it in that movie." She finally answered.  
  
That made him think, what movie, please not the shower thing, he wasn't sure  
  
he was recovered enough to preform that trick.   
  
"Which movie?"   
  
"You know that one you liked." She as hunting for hints to what was his favorite  
  
position since she didn't have one of her own.   
  
"Who was in it?" He couldn't think. He never should have evaded his choice.  
  
"I know like this," She pushed him up so that she could slip off her skirt then  
  
settled down on his lap with her legs around his waist. His full erection trapped  
  
between their bodies, throbbing for attention.   
  
That made him flash on to a movie scene where Julia Roberts straddled Liam  
  
Neeson when he was sitting in some big over stuffed chair.   
  
"Baby ease back some so we can get together." He lifted her while positioning  
  
his tip so she could slide down over him.   
  
"Go slow, you're still real tight." He helped her to settle carefully onto him.   
  
"Oh, that's hot, easy, easy." He felt like he was going to finish already.   
  
"You keep telling me I'm tight, I think it's because you're so much." She was  
  
moving on him as she praised him.   
  
"It's both, go slow." He took hold of her waist to keep her from pumping him  
  
dry right at the start. This position would take a little more work on her half   
  
then it would from him. He'd have to concentrate on not coming.   
  
Or so he'd thought, she cried out her climax only a minute after she'd mounted  
  
him.   
  
"You are so hard." She panted just before nearly screaming.   
  
Fin followed her in seconds, his entire body clenching tightly as he came.  
  
He couldn't believe how easily she reached climax. He hardly had to do anything  
  
and she was there. How was it possible she'd never been with a man until he  
  
came into her life?   
  
Helena was wrapped around Fin's upper body. Her chin arched around his  
  
broad shoulder. He was stroking her bare back, she liked his touch.   
  
He held her on his lap for several minutes, recovering.   
  
"I think we need to talk." He eased her off his shoulder so he could see her face.  
  
"That doesn't sound good. Did I choose the wrong one?"   
  
"Helena, baby there is no wrong one. We need to talk about other things."   
  
He kissed her slow and gentle then eased her off his lap.   
  
"I'm going to take a quick shower." He stood stretched and walked to the bathroom.  
  
She stared, he was not at all self-conscious about being naked in front of her.  
  
Fin stood under the water longer than usual, it felt good he was sore from  
  
the exertion from the aftermath of the explosion. They only good news about  
  
the tragedy, that it really was just an accident. A leaking gas main that blew up  
  
a half a block on 34th street. He found clean clothes laid out for him. She must  
  
have borrowed his keys and gone for his clothes when he was still sleeping.   
  
Helena wasn't in the bedroom, so he finished drying himself and quickly dressed.  
  
Hanging the damp towel over the shower curtain on his way to the kitchen.  
  
He smelled coffee and something else, something beside the usual sweet   
  
baked sweets she often had on hand.   
  
Helena was standing at the stove. She turned to hand him a mug of hot coffee  
  
as he entered the room.   
  
"Thank you." He took it, set it down on the counter and leaned in to kiss her.   
  
He couldn't help himself he wanted to touch her, every time she looked at him.  
  
"You're trembling?"   
  
"You said we have to talk, that sounds bad." She explained.   
  
"No, 'Lena, baby it's not bad. I'm not going to make love with you and then  
  
just leave. I'm not like that." He took her hand in his and walked her to the  
  
table, he pulled out her chair for her. He went back for his coffee then took the chair  
  
across the small table from her.   
  
"I hope you don't mind that I went into your apartment for the clothes.  
  
I didn't poke around I just found what I thought you needed and brought  
  
them down here."   
  
"Thank you, I appreciate it. I'm not mad about you taking my keys. It was  
  
very thoughtful of you." He covered her hands with one of his.   
  
"I'd like to ask you why...." he pause already going about it wrong.   
  
'Lena I'm honored to be your first lover." He paused again.   
  
"You were wonderful." She promised him.  
  
He almost smiled, "Wait, let me say this. How is it possible for a beautiful woman  
  
like you to be your age and never ....." he was still saying badly. But there had to  
  
be a reason. Why was he the man she'd wait for?  
  
"If I tell you that, I'll lose you." She began to tear up.   
  
"Is your opinion of me so low that you think I'd stop caring about you because  
  
of something from your past?" Fin questioned.   
  
"Most of my old friends stop wanting be around me."   
  
"Then you had piss poor friends." He told her. "I'm sorry. Look in my line  
  
of work I've heard it all. Just tell me, get it over with, and it'll be will be done."  
  
"I was raped when I was nineteen." She whispered. Not looking at him.   
  
"I'm sorry, did you get counseling?" He'd guessed as much from all the clues  
  
he'd had over the past few weeks. But after last night, he thought he was sure.   
  
"Yes, for a couple of years I saw a shrink. It took so long because it was   
  
several men that attacked me." She added. Then looked up to see his reaction.   
  
She saw the pain for her in his eyes, but not the shame, not the revulsion.   
  
He swept around the table and lifted her into a hug meant to be comforting.  
  
But was almost overwhelming.   
  
He fought to maintain his temper. She was right if he'd know before they had   
  
done it. He would have avoided getting close to her. Now he was going to  
  
have to keep from treating her any differently than before.   
  
"Does this mean you still want to be with me?" Helena asked hanging on  
  
to his shoulders tightly.   
  
"This means I'm not going anywhere." Fin promised.   
  
..TBC.................  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Later that afternoon when Fin and John were both at the station.

"When Helena was in here did you run her thru the system?"

"Yes, but you said you didn't want to know, unless she told you herself."

Munch reminded him.

"She did tell me. What I want to know is, did they catch the perps and are

they doing hard time?" Fin asked.

"Yes, and no. They charged three men, two are still in jail, one is dead.

The fourth one got a deal in exchange for testimony. The victim didn't

remember him being part of the attack."

"Is he still in the city?" Fin asked.

"No, he finished out his probation and move to Florida." Munch told him.

"What race where these assholes?" Fin still couldn't understand why he was

the one that she reached out to.

"Kind of a mix, two Hispanic, one Asian, one black."

"Which one was the deal maker?"

"The Asian kid, they were nineteen and twenty at the time. Not that, that excuses

anything. There were only three semen samples. He could have only been there

and not ..." John didn't finish his statement.

"Okay, thanks. I think I'm going to have another talk with Wong." Fin sighed.

Fin called her from work about half way thru his shift.

John over heard a little of the conversation. His partner seemed less tense

in one sense and yet he was worried for her.

"You okay?" Munch asked once he'd hung up the phone.

"I will be, thanks." Fin nodded.

It was late when the shift ended, Fin went home, he'd talked to Helena again

about eight, to warn her he wouldn't be stopping by after work. He did promise

to see her the following evening.

Helena worried all day if he really would keep seeing her. She'd lost so many

friends to her past.

Fin wasn't bothered by her past, at least not the fact of it, just that it was

terrible she'd have to live through it. What he was worried about was how

he was feeling when he was with her. He'd never experienced so much

desire. But even that wasn't all, he needed to hold her. To know that she

was safe. He wanted to fall asleep with her in his arms. He couldn't seem

to get enough of her.

Fin needed to gain control again he'd allowed her in to his life and his heart.

But his thought were always on her now. He wouldn't be able to do his job

if he couldn't get a handle on his attraction.

He brought her flowers on Thursday night. The official beginning of his courtship.

He didn't want her to think he'd finally made it into her bed and now that was

all it would be about.

"Helena, these are for you." He offered her the bouquet.

"Thank you, come in. They are beautiful." She put them on the kitchen

counter. Then turned to look at him. He was freshly showered and dressed

in black jeans, black shirt and leather jacket.

Fin drank in her beautiful smile. Stepped in close and kissed her on the cheek.

"I'm so glad you came tonight." She blurted out.

"I'd like to take you out to dinner." He started then noticed the table was set.

He fought down the urge to kiss her on the mouth. Not just yet.

Helena was puzzled, was he trying to let her down easy? What had changed

since they had made love other than her confession?

"Fin are you are trying to break off with me..." She stammered.

"Lena, baby. No. I just didn't want to come here and behave like it was time

to jump in bed. I care about you. I want to spend time with you." He lifted a

hand to her chin so she'd look at him.

"If you mean that kiss me. " Helena tested him.

Fin almost smiled, she was going to fight to get what she wanted.

He stepped in closer and kissed her, starting gentle and shifting into more

passionate.

Helena sighed, welcoming him into her arms.

"I need you, we can't not be together after what happened the other night."

"Baby I was just trying to treat you with respect" Fin explained.

"I know, but I've gone with out love in my life for so long. Now that I found

out what it's like. I don't want to not have you." She held on to him tightly.

"I'm here for you baby." He heard the words love, he even was sure that he

felt love for her. He just wasn't ready to say the words.

"Fin, please take me to bed." She pleaded.

"What ever the lady wants, the lady gets." He wrapped his arm around her

waist and escorted her to the bedroom.

"This was your idea how in control do you want to be?" Fin asked

willing to give her total control.

Helena paused not expecting him to say for her to lead.

Then she had an idea. She lit the candles she kept on her dresser and beside

the bed then moved to help him off with his jacket. He just waited and watched

as he moved to hang it up in the closet.

Then she was back beside him, smoothing a hand across his shoulders, down

his arm. Looking into his eyes as she reached up to kiss him on the corner of

his mouth. Fin was hanging on, giving her choices about what happened.

"I think you need to lose some of these clothes." She whispered, reaching to

unbutton his collar. He helped by undoing the buttons on the cuffs of his shirt

but then let her take it from there. Helena licked her lips and placed a kiss on

the hollow of his throat as soon as she undid the top button on his dark shirt.

Fin exhaled, she was really making him turned on quickly. She unbuttoned

the next button and slipped a hand inside his shirt to caress his chest.

But she didn't stop for more than a second to admire his build. She wanted

to see all of him. He helped her with his belt not sure if she was going to

be bold enough to finish what she'd started.

"You let me know when to take over Baby." Fin watched as she stalled

at his waist. When he saw that her hands were trembling he pulled her into

his arms. "We can stop anytime, I told you it's not about that."

"I don't want to stop, I think you should take over." She was hiding her

face in his shoulder.

"You're sure?" He didn't want her to being doing this just to please him.

'Yes, I want you." She reached to kiss his mouth. Fin cradled her against

his chest for several minutes as they kissed. Then he guided her to the bed

the kissed more sitting on the edge of the bed. He slipped the zipper down

at the back of her dress and caressed her bare back. One of her hands

was gripping his arm, the other was braced against his thigh.

She seemed more nervous now than she had the first time. But she wasn't

pulling away, she was just unsure. Fin decided getting them both naked in

the bed fast would be the best plan. He stood up bringing her with him,

her dress slipped to the floor, he dropped his pants and shorts. Then

they were both under the covers. If that made her less nervous he was

fine with it.

"Lena, you have the most luscious body. You feel so good pressed against

me." He was trying to praise her, help her to loosen up.

"I like how hard you are...I mean everywhere, all muscle ..." She stammered.

Fin liked hearing that, a man never tired of hearing his lady found him desirable.

He'd let her explore his build later, all she wanted, but right now he eased over

her and tested if she was at all ready for him. As tense as she was he was

surprised to find her wet already. He stroked her for a little bit just to be sure

and then slipped inside.

Helena, relaxed as soon as he began to move. Reached both arms around his

broad shoulders so she could hold on. Once he was in place, she melted.

Giving her a orgasm took only a minute, he still couldn't believe how responsive

she was. It took him a little longer, and he managed to take her along with him

for a second climax when he finished.

"Lena, you are so fine." He breathed just before he tensed and exploded.

Her hands were stoking over his back, her eyes were closed still from the

experience.

Fin moved to lay beside her, breathing a little fast still. He was going to figure

out how to get past her nervousness and help her to enjoy all of the experience.

Helena felt wonderful, she was never tense about being with him afterwards.

Now she wanted to look at him, wanted to see his body again.

"Fin may I look at you?" She asked leaning on her side and watching him.

He opened his eyes, "You are."

"I mean all of you." Her eyes were bright with interest.

"You're curious?" He knew she just wanted to stroke him a little.

He pushed the sheet down, so she could do as she pleased.

Her hand smoothed over his biceps, then skimmed over his chest. Her touch

so light sometimes he could hardly feel her finger tips. He closed his eyes.

Being admired was a new experience for him. At least like this, she was

transfixed.

"May I ask something?"

"Yeah, what do you need to know?" He wasn't sure what to expect.

"You are living up to what they always say about black men."

"Sorry?" He had no idea where this was going.

"It's not just that I'm small?" She asked.

Fin opened his eyes at that comment, but he guessed it was a fair question

what frame of reference did she have? The sheet was still covering him from

the waist down. He figured if she wanted to explore that much she'd ask.

"Ah, yeah I guess you could put it that way. I'm packing large, representin'."

"I guessed so." She nodded, her hand still on his chest, making lazy

circles over his right pec.

He thought she might want to ask more questions, but was hesitating.

"Was there more you wanted to ask me?" He flexed the muscle under her

hand. That startled her, she pulling her hand off him.

Her eyes were locked on his chest like she'd never seen a muscle flex

before. Let alone felt it. He needed to remember he was her first lover.

Everything about being with a man was new to her.

"Did I hurt you?" She asked not understanding what had made his pec

jump under her hand.

"No, Baby don't freak out. I did that, I keep forgetting I'm your first man."

He moved up to lean on the pillows more.

"I know I'm inexperienced, do you want me to stop ..."

"Shh, I didn't say that." He struggled to find the right way of saying what he

needed to with out it sounding like he was all that.

"I like that you want to touch me. I go to the gym to keep in shape, stay strong.

Ladies usually are attracted to a man that's got some muscle."

He shook his head, he sounded like he was all boastful of his build.

"You don't mind me looking and touching?" She asked, lifting her had towards

his arm.

"I don't mind, I was flexing for you, showing off."

He flexed his biceps for her, she was impressed, smoothing her hand over

the muscle again and again.

Fin felt like laughing, she was thrilled with such a simple thing. Helena

was so easy to please, he'd be a fool to lose a lady like her.

Helena was enthralled by all of him, she couldn't stop staring and stroking.

Fin closed his eyes again while she explored. This relationship was going

to teach him patience one way or the other. It was sweet torture and half

the reason he worked out was to attract some female attention.

"Oh, I didn't think. You haven't eaten yet?" Lena suddenly sat up from

him, and pulled the sheet up. "There is meat keeping warm in the oven."

"Slow down, Baby we can go have a nice snack if you want ." Fin did smile

at her concern for his empty stomach.

He slipped out of the bed and pulled on his jeans. He looked around for his

shirt and saw she was holding it against her so he couldn't put it on.

"You that greedy to see me?"

She nodded.

"Do I get to see you too?"

Lena shook her head and ducked into the bathroom with his shirt. She came

out in a minute wearing a frilly little night gown that just did show off her figure.

"So fine, Baby. You sure we need to go to the kitchen?" Fin was starting to

think it was time for another go between the sheets.

"You need to eat."She smiled, "To keep your strength up." She giggled and

rushed out of the bedroom with him chasing her.

Fin caught her before she even reached the kitchen, wrapping an arm

around her waist and lifting her off her feet, her back against his front.

That position jolted him, as she wiggled in his embrace, her sweet ass rubbing

against his crotch. He'd been primed back in the bedroom a second ago and

now he was growing swiftly into cocked and ready.

"You're to fast for me." Lena giggled, still wiggling in his grasp.

Fin groaned, with another lady he'd suggest putting his hardness to good use.

But with Lena, he wasn't sure. Damn. He let her go so if she hadn't noticed

she wouldn't. But the way his jeans were bulging from his throbbing organ

it would be a miracle if she didn't notice.

"Do you want a sandwich or maybe something else?" Lena asked thinking the

little game of chase was over. Then she turned to look at him.

Fin was so masculine when he was dressed for work. But stripped to the waist

with all his strength on display... her mouth went dry.

"Anything, what ever is easy." He answered, trying to keep his voice normal.

"You want me again?" She asked staring at him.

"Baby I always want you." He spoke softly, he knew he couldn't be aggressive.

"But yeah, this big bulge is from you rubbin' against me."

"I didn't mean to ..." She promised.

"I know, you aren't a tease. We don't have to take care of it now." He could

shake it off, it wasn't like they hadn't just done it.

Lena was breathing shallow, but she closed the distance between them and

slipped her arms around his neck, pressing her body against him. Fin held her

close, hoping for some sign from her that she wanted to wait or keep going.

"Take me back to bed." She curled around his shoulders as he lifted her in

his arms and walked back up the hall.

Fin lay her gently on the bed following her down so that he was laying above her

with none of his weight was on her. He began kissing her mouth, she responded

her hands gripping his back. Fin hoped he could draw things out this time.

Long and slow had to be the best way for her to not flash on the rape.

Lena was eager for him, she never would have dreamed that she could feel so

much passion for a man. Any man. Let alone one as virile as Fin was. Of course

that wasn't how their relationship had developed. It was his underlying compassion

his intelligence and when he was around her his gentle manner.

Her hands drifted down his back stroking him as they kissed. She found that

he was still wearing his jeans.

"Fin don't hold back because of my past." She freed her mouth from his so she

could tell him it was alright.

"I'm not Baby." He promised.

"Then what's this?" She tugged at the waist of his jeans.

"Just, taking my time, making things last." He lied.

Helena pulled his hips down so she could feel his hard arousal, he was throbbing

he was so ready. "I need you inside me."

She tried to undo his zipper, but failed. Fin had to moved off of her and yank

his jeans off then cover her again. His large erection pressed into position, he

locked gazes with her as he slipped inside.

"Oh Baby, relax for me." He kissed her mouth, her throat and eased forward.

Again once she adjusted, it only took a short time and she was flying.

He didn't prolong things, taking only a dozen strokes and finishing himself.

He groaned, then sighed.

He rolled so that she was laying on top of him. He wasn't even breathing fast

the effort required was so small.

"I still think you're wonderful." She sighed laying on him.

"I thing you're wonderful too." He stroked her back, wondering what was next.

"Do you have any nick names you haven't told me?" Lena asked.

"Umm, none I'd want you to use." He confessed. "Why?"

"You don't like your full name, but Fin is so short it's hard to say it and put

any feeling into it. You call my baby more than anything." She explained.

"So give me a pet name."

"I can't seem to think of a good one." She sighed stroking a hand over his

hard chest.

"They way I've been acting you could just call me horny." He joked.

"I hope you'll always want me." She confessed unsure.

"Helena, sweetheart I will always want you. I care about you so much."

He lifted his head to kiss her deeply, while both hands smoothed up her

back pressing her body tightly into his.

"I want to believe that." She returned the strong feeling in the kiss. Fin was

just so good for her, he was so understanding and good. And he was still

a man any woman would want. 


End file.
